Identity, Values and Strengths

My personal values

Culture

Living and growing up in New Zealand I felt like I never really changed, I merely just became older. It wasn’t until I took a step out of my culture and moved to Japan that I really came to understand the differences in life. Experiencing the Japanese culture really influenced my values, I had to truly become independent..

Living in a foreign non-english speaking country can be amazing but also immensely isolating. Being independent in the way you live your life is a really important value to uphold. It made me become stronger mentally, but also more self aware of what I can and cannot do myself.



Values

Turbulent personality. After taking a personality test online I found my identity was 92% turbulent.

“Turbulent types are more likely to be self-conscious perfectionists, concerned about their abilities or about how others perceive them”

I couldn’t have read anything more accurate, I often find myself lost in a train of thought of how I am being perceived by others. It’s a very anxiety inducing feeling.

I think of myself as a very inquisitive person. I like to know the motives behind people's actions. Why did they do something in a particular way? What were they thinking before they made that decision? I always want to know everything I can about the people in my life. I’m not sure if it's because I feel threatened by them and that I am insecure myself, or am I really just curious? I often feel like If I can know everything about others, then I can analyse their next move.

Analysing people Isn’t always the right thing to do. I know for me it can lead to thinking about the worst possible outcome of a situation. Reading too deep into something that really isn’t deep at all can have effects on my mood, my responses and the way I act. I want to curb this by simply just being in the moment, taking in what’s said and appreciating the people around me more.



Decision making

While living and working in Japan I occasionally had to teach lessons to young children. Sometimes this was a lot of fun, but other times it was very difficult.
A particular instance I remember vividly was when I had a lesson with a very troublesome 5 year old girl. It seemed like her life goal was to cause havoc in the classroom. I always knew that I could ask for help from my manager if I needed it, but my pride was too high to take on the criticism, I felt like I could handle it.

The ethical decision came once I realised that the negativity from the classroom was actually spilling over into my mental well-being for the rest of the day. I was frustrated that I couldn’t get across to this girl.
In the end I had to ask for help, I had to drop my ego and come to the realisation that asking for not help is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. Ultimately I was much more relieved, plus I had added knowledge of how to deal with headstrong students.



Strengths & Weaknesses

My strengths in terms of my learning and career development are perfection and creativity. I often really want to keep pushing a project until I don’t know when to stop. I always want to tinker and try something new but then realise I don’t like said new thing. Creativity has always been a part of me. I’m always interested in different approaches to projects or even visually doing something eccentric. I think perfection is an obstacle to the “just in time” learning method. I need to understand and be comfortable with not knowing everything.

I have found resistance in my past with group work. I often felt like I needed to take control of the project in order for it to be completed on time. To use this in a productive way I tried to delegate tasks out to each member, that way we all knew what we were doing and there was no waiting around. Something I would try now would be to try and get more creative input from everyone and take turns at leading the project.